Code Slingers Timesheet

Code slingers don’t like timesheets. Why? Because filling out time sheets is a soul-sucking administrative job. We don’t do it. Period.

Code Slingers Timesheet

Okay you don’t fill out soul-sucking timesheets, but watch this video below, and consider some ideas that may offer something in return for sucking the heart and soul out of you.

Think of it this way, software coder:

    Boolean keepMyPaycheck = awesomeAllNighters – soulSuckingAdmin;

    scrollDownForMore();

    downloadST();

Soul-sucking job 1: Pick your own tasks

Okay fine, it sucks. But it sucks less when you can pick your own project tasks. And when only you see them in your timesheet, and nobody else sees them except your soul-sucking boss who doesn’t allow four-wheelers in the building. But keep in mind that picking your own tasks, and managing when those tasks are completed is more than 99% of the world can say. You are in the 1%, buddy. You decide which tasks you want to work on, which tasks show up on your phone, when you start a timer and stop it. Okay, it’s 4am and you’re surrounded by 68 blue and red LED’s, and that last bug keeps burning down your app. Keep that ST timer running. It’s proof you’re the best guy they got in this forsaken pesthole.

if (snacksInBreakRoom)
     willCodeTilMorning();

Soul-sucking job 2: Set your own estimates

You like setting your own tasks, huh? Got a task for it now. It’s not that bad, actually. Not soul-sucking after all. Okay fine, it is still soul-sucking. But what if you could take this a step further and set your own task estimates? Like, tell your boss how long he has to wait for your godly work to break forth onto the world. Some tasks are quick, some drag you into such a dark place you may not be seen for weeks. Or if you do, it won’t be your choice. <Enter scary clown with farm tools>

“Double remainingTime = estimatedDuration – actualWork;”

Soul-sucking job 3: Set your own reminder limits

You learn that your soul-sucking boss likes task estimates. He can use them against you. He beats you with rods when you don’t perform, like a circus monkey. So you plan revenge. <Enter scary monkey with bloody knife>

“1988 Monkey Shines +1”

How do you beat this rap? You plan to finish every task before it’s due. How? You set your own reminder limits. You set a popup for 75% on one task, and 90% on another. That will show him. Watch what happens when I click the “Completed” checkbox early. Ha! Find another monkey.

Soul-sucking job 4: Enter your own hours

You got your soul-sucking tasks, and your soul-sucking estimates, and your soul-sucking reminders. Your tasks show up in your soul-sucking timesheet. Now what? It’s time to enter a few hours into the daily cells. You can do it. You got this far, why not finish this out?

Turns out, you can do this on your phone… or on your quad-monitor, ten-core, IBM Watson, air cooled computer. Nah, the phone. Pull out your Android or iPhone. See that ST app. Yeah, that one. Tap, tap, tap. That’s right. You just logged some project hours. In a minute, they will sync with the cloud and your soul-sucking boss will pounce all over them.

“sweetTimeTrackingApps = android + ios;”

Soul-sucking results: Oops, you are my project manager boy

Ha! Tricked you, code slinger! You are now a project manager. You built out a fine project hierarchy with breakdowns and tasks, all so you could manage your own time and your own timesheet. Now all your work belongs to us! <Enter cheesy Japanese Zero Wing video game> Because you signed a work-for-hire and nda, everything you slaved for is ours. Even that sweet project hierarchy with linked tasks and computed finish dates. Nobody else can do that stuff but you. But it doesn’t matter now, because we own you.

Wait… wait just a minute. You’re the new CTO? And I report to you now? The tables are turned, and a little code slinging boy is now my soul-sucking boss?  Agggh!

“He learned project management in ST”
“And became CTO”

Truth

Written by an actual code slinging developer

But my soul-sucking marketing manager made me do it

I’ll be CEO soon, and be her boss

Then I’ll make her write PERL script and integrate with MySQL

And fill out my timesheet for me

And see how she likes that

v

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Click to download ST

(it will make me happy)

This
article Code Slingers Timesheet was first seen on http://www.stdtime.com